Eyebags, saddle bags, armed with bags and baggy arms, she walks oblivious to society’s unyielding demand for wrinkle-free skin and dimple-free glutes. It pursues her with cold-pressed juices and hot press masks. Cosmetics offer vanishing creams that would put David Copperfield to shame.
She’s wooed with spandex and threatened with girdles- alas to no avail. The breath-taking world of shapewear holds no sway, for she would rather have her breath. She’s not keen on Bernstein either. She’s the bag lady!
Giving a whole new meaning to the ‘baggy’ fashion, she dresses for comfort unless the rigors of a formal event are impressed upon her. Formal clothing is capricious, designed solely to scare her slim. High heeled shoes appeal to her like humidity appeals to frizz. Although her youth remembers these shoes in romantic fashion, her feet don’t share the passion. Sneakers are her best friends and flip-flops, her statement of rebellion.
Thus she makes her public appearance as the perfect antidote to fashion. Shopping in the mall, idling at work, working at home, gardening in the garden and serving at the soup kitchen. Serving kindness to all she meets, her warmth hovers around her like a halo. Except at times when pernicious imps rewire her brain and her halo explodes into furious flames landing on those who did not unload the dishwasher or those who take her parking spot.
Generally disposed to geniality, her pleasant nature is dressed-up with a palette full of laughter – complete with light shaded giggles, sharp toned cackles and garish belly-laughs. Though these may occasionally escalate to shrieks that undulate the cellulite sacs, her laughter is remarkably endearing. At the very least, it’s remarkable, especially how her second chin moves in rhythmic cadence with the sound of her laughter.
Her mirth is accessorised with good friends and her friends are accessorised with bags. From Louis Vuitton bags to tea bags and eye bags. Sometimes with tea bags on eye bags. She has journeyed from high-heels to sneakers, from coy smiles to loud guffaws and from fat-free to care-free, living a wholesome life. Her appearance attesting to the wholesomeness. Uncompromised by calories, this fearless woman dares to eat butter. Long live the bag lady!!